Home
Introduction
About the Author
Dedication

Dancing for My
   Mother

World Voices Home

The Literary Explorer
Writers on the Job
Books Forgotten
Thomas E. Kennedy
Walter Cummins
Web Del Sol

          It does look like a snake, says Sandra. Up close you can see that something bad has happened to her. Her face is covered with what look like warts. What happened to your face? you ask her. Hot grease. I got spattered with hot grease on the stove when I went to turn the pork chops and the grease got me. With her spots, she doesn't look so much like an angel, not nearly so pretty. And that gives you hope. You ask her if she wants your roundsnake. She touches it. She says, Feels funny. Feels like cold skin. Watching her hand caress the roundsnake makes you want to kiss the fingers going round and round. You tell her she can have your roundsnake for a kiss. I can’t kiss you, she says, blushing. Her left hand keeps rubbing circles on the slick skin. And she says, But if you want me to, I can spit on him. More than anything you want to see her spit! Go on, you tell her. Do it. She bends over the roundsnake and spits. Her face flushing hot all over, the blisters glowing. Spit bubbling like airplane glue on the surface of the roundsnake. You stick your finger in it, smear it round and round, making the surface slicker. Raising the roundsnake close, you sniff then lick Sandra's spit. When the bell rings you run to the edge of the yard and toss the roundsnake far out into the snow.

          Pappas and Mom are making payments on a four-door, two-toned green 1949 Hudson Hornet named Betsy. It is the most luxurious car they have ever owned and it means they have come up more in the world and your mom says the neighbors are jealous. The neighbors all drive Chevys and Fords and Plymouths, mostly clunkers. You are ecstatic about the Hudson and tell your friends that it is a car impossible to roll because it is built so low to the ground. It happens that one day you get to see your opinion of the invincible Hudson in action. Your mom is at the wheel. The road is icy. The car spins out on black ice going over a bridge. It makes two complete circles and ends up with its ass in a ditch and no one worse for the experience. This is an adventure you tell over and over, wanting to brag about Betsy, wanting everyone to adore her, a car that refuses to roll. You want one of your own. You want more than anything to learn how to drive. The Hudson has made you car crazy. You memorize the name of every car on the road and spout them off to anyone who will listen. Whenever your mother is around to hear you, she always says it would be nice if you knew your school lessons as well as you knew cars.

After dinner one night she says, I have something important to tell you. She announces she is going to have a baby. A lousy idea as far as you’re concerned. You’re looking at her smiling and you’re thinking she is off her rocker. A baby! Grandma Inez has come from Minnesota and moved in. She says a baby is just what this family needs. It will bind the marriage, she says. Babies can do that. She winks at you and places her forefinger like the barrel of a gun aiming at her forehead. You have no idea what she means by this gesture.

Your mom says, What are you thinking, Duffy? You tell her straight out you do not want no baby. She laughs. But you are not being funny. What are we going to do with a baby? She frowns and shakes her head. She says, You are just being selfish again. You want to stay the baby of the family. Like hell I do, you tell her and she says, You better watch that mouth, young man. Pappas tells you to eat your goddamn dinner, giving you that slimy onions look. I hope it’s a boy, says Mom. You choke, you cough, figuring you’re really going to be sick thinking about that. Another boy in the house? Jesus, the poor bastard has no idea what he is in for. You want to put your mouth on your mother’s belly and yell, Do not come out of there, little guy! You will be sorry if you do.

You like Grandma Inez because she takes you on the bus to the sports arena, takes you inside to watch professional wrestlers beat the shit out of each other. Root for the good guy who always wears brighter trunks than the bad guy. Boo the bad guy. Grandma Inez yells, Kill him! Kill him! She stands up shaking her fist. You yell, Kill him! And shake your fist too. Very exciting to watch the wrestlers throw each other all over the ring. Grandma Inez instructs you in the finer points: That’s a crossbody block! That’s a stinger! Oh look at that dirty bastard giving him the bell clap, that’ll just kill your ears! There, you see that! That’s the Lou Thez press, he’ll pin him with that, the body scissors! Get him in the body scissors, you idiot! Her favorite wrestler is Lou Thez. She calls him The Great One and says he is World Heavyweight Champion. She loves him so. 

Grandma Inez gets a job as short order cook for a café. She rents a house trailer in a trailer park within walking distance to work and asks if you want to move in with her. You tell her yes! But when you tell your mother you want to live with Grandma Inez in the trailer she bursts into tears and says you don’t love her. That’s not it. You just want to get away from Pappas. You don’t tell her that, though. You say you’re sorry. You say you don’t really want to live with Grandma Inez.

15