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Dancing for My
   Mother

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          A fateful day is the day you tell Bart that your mother will cook pigeon pot pie if either of you can shoot a pigeon. This is a phrase you’ve picked up somewhere, a phrase you like to think about. You think it’s the word Pie that keeps you interested. Bart and you go to an old house not far away, where pigeons roam the peak of the roof. You shoot BBs at them, but don’t hit any and finally give it up and start discussing sex. Bart brings it up. He asks if you’ve ever done it. You tell him no! You tell him only married people are supposed to have sex. The people who aren’t married go to hell if they do it. And he says, Yeah, but what a way to go. You’re not sure what to make of him. How do you know? you ask. And he says he’s fucked Karen lots of times and also Bonnie his sister. Karen’s older brother fucks her too. In fact, he showed her how and she showed Bart. You are flabbergasted! When you go to bed that night the idea won’t let go. You think of George Allison with your sister and your mother. You think of the man who taught you to shoot a .22 and how he played with Carol Marie’s privates. You think about your own privates, how your thing has brought you mostly nothing but grief. But there have been times it got hard and stroking it felt good. You think of Karen and Bart and Bonnie living right next door to each other and doing IT.

          Karen has a round face, sandy-colored hair, blue eyes and freckles. She is gat-toothed and has a big smile. She’s chubby but solid with smooth muscle. Bart is lean. His complexion is darker than yours. He says he is black Irish. The two of you spend the rest of the summer making love to Karen. The first time is in Bart’s basement. It starts with an argument, Bart and Karen trying to talk you into doing it, but you’re resisting. What seals the deal is Karen saying, I bet you don’t even know how! You tell her you know all about it. Prove it, she says. In Bart’s basement there’s a little room made of boxes full of junk surrounding a rolled out sleeping bag, Karen lies down. She shuffles her jeans and underpants off. Bart drops his drawers and climbs onto her. You put it right here, he says, plunging in and moving up and down. You’re very nervous. You’re wondering if his mother might come to the basement to get something. Maybe she’ll hear what’s going on. You can hear her walking around upstairs. After a minute or two Bart says it’s your turn. You let your pants fall to your ankles and lay your body over Karen. Your penis pokes around but doesn’t go in, until she reaches down, grabs it, puts it where it’s supposed to go. What a sensation! Nothing you’ve known has ever felt so good. Karen’s gat-tooth smile is right in your face. See? she says. You can’t speak, can only nod your head. She pulls your mouth to her mouth, gives you a flat-lipped kiss, which doesn’t add anything to the act as far as you’re concerned. Then she says, Okay, that’s enough. Get off. You don’t want to get off, but you do.

          Once or twice a week Bart and you and Karen find hiding places. Once in her basement in her father’s dark room. Once in the woods with her bending over. Several times on the sleeping bag in Bart’s basement. In Bart’s backyard there is a mound you both built, a sort of fort from behind which you shoot your BB guns at Indians or attacking Japs. Sometimes his sister Bonnie plays and one day you watch Bart lie down on his back and have Bonnie sit on him. You don’t take part in it other than to watch. Karen isn’t there that day. But later when you tell her what Bart and Bonnie did she says that she and her brother have done the same thing. She asks if you’ve ever fucked your sister. No! I’d never do that, you tell her. But then you wonder if Carol Marie is doing it with some boy she knows. Would she do such a thing? Karen says to ask her to come over and do it with Karen’s brother. You go home and tell Carol Marie about Karen’s offer. You tell her, Her brother wants to do it to you. Carol Marie has big round eyes and you can see the shock and worry in them. No, no, no! she says, don’t be talking like that, Duffy. You want me to have a baby?

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