And who better to say than me, Pincus Perlmutter, who knew him from when, so well he called me Pinky and Pearl for a personal gleek. Pincus Perlmutter, My sweet Pinky pearl he called me, not only his partner who created and promoted the marathon Morris shtik from London to Norwich in 1600—and here I'm telling what's until now a secret—the one who hired the hack to write Nine Days Wonder, which I put on it Will wrote himself—me, I made this the most wondrous marvel dare-journey nobody seen before or since, and I'm also the one had the idea for the Morris over the Alp mountains from France to Italy, which was my grandest idea ever. Which I'll tell later.
And as much it was I was his freund, so close we could of been landsleit except he came out from countryside England, baseborn for a certain, a bastard I think he was, a hedge-child, but he never told me this so I can't say. And me I'm from shtetl, from where the Moscovies do pogrom, which is partly why I came to England first and then London, which is a different story I'm only telling some as part of this about Will Kempe.
Who better than me, Pincus Perlmutter, to tell? I know from what I'm telling!
Not only was I like landsman with my Will, but also I knew from anyone who's anyone at the time or since in theater and theatricals and other entertainments. I'm talking from before Brownist Puritans—they should get a murrain rash on them, feh!--got so influential putting the kibosh on enjoying life so long as you got to live it, not just against indecencies they were. This was when theatrical persons such as myself knew—naturally—not only each other but also mixed in social with not only mavens and money guys from theater, but also mixed in with nobility gallants and patrons, gentle persons who were also machers from Court—everyone I knew!
Besides my Will Kempe the greatest comical talent and also a true mensch, I knew personally all the actors and playmakers, comical and tragedical both. I knew like I said Dick Tarlton, the greatest English Fool until my Will, I knew also Jack Shank who also played Fools, but not so well, after Will Kempe this was, and I knew Bob Arnim for who it was W.S. was glad my Will sold his Globe shares so Bob could take his place in the Chamberlain's Players where he became such a somebody doing Feste and also Robin (dancing!) in Twelfth Night and also of course Lear and others after 1600. Bob Arnim I knew and never liked, and even his wife Alice and also even Tabby his sister I knew. God rest his soul, he starb in '15, just before Master William S.
So, actors I knew, me, Pincus Perlmutter from shtetl where I studied in chedar and the Moscovies do pogrom is why I left when I was only a boychick—what English call march-chick wet-behind-ears. I knew Cowley, also Dick Burbage whose papa James built the first true theater way back in '76 it was, and Hemings and Curdall I knew. Alleyn I knew, and Augustine Phillips, also Pope. Lean and skinny Sinkler I knew. Of course all the march-chick boys who did ladies' roles I knew.
Playmakers too! Not just Master William, but also Tom Kyd and Bob Greene (God rest his soul, died poor, bupkes he had when he starb) the Oxford man, and certain I knew Kit Marlowe who was shame to say faygeleh, indecent interested in boy-actors, who also sad to say died in '93 it was from a rapier in the eye he got from a tummel brawl over paying his reckoning to a Tom Tapster in a stews in Deptford—him I knew. Fletcher and also Beaumont I knew, and naturally Ben Jonson too.
It's a surprise I should know so good all the theatrical goyim? Surprise more, I'm saying I knew also many from the Court machers! I knew Southhampton of course because of W.S. sucking up by him until the troubles from being in cahoots with Essex against Queen Bess—even Essex I knew a little, who got his kopf chopped off for making a treason, at least Southhampton only went to the Tower until we got Scot James in '03, by which time W.S. was of course such a somebody with lands and houses and gelt he shouldn't even worry about it, he could go back to Stratford and be a country macher which he did after 1611. Did I tell I also knew Raleigh, who wrote History of The World and also good poetry I think, and only four years after in '18 also got his kopf chopped off?
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