New Year's Eve

You knew the reason for longing,
why the heart sometimes
closes in a clam's hard purse
while that tough knocking goes on
& on like rhythmic shelling
of a city no one lives in.

I'm trying to remember who said
it would be easy, who said one
word in every song is crazy
like the heart that matters or
a spinning top or the beat beyond
understanding; yeah, crazy
like they meant it like
every night grew larger than before
& morning would regret it.

But tonight you look beyond the screen
to the tree's nested lights,
to the fat blue lovers on the rink
rapt in their silken scarves; then,
reach back, swayed by my
ardent scrabbling at this barnacled heart.